How do I connect in a small group, Bible study?

Small group, Bible studies, especially the heavily interactive type, can make some people feel uneasy. Small groups can straight up scare some people. Are you one of these people? Would you rather attend a larger gathering than participate in a small study? Would you like to better connect in small groups?

The questions come up: “How do I connect in the a small group, Bible study? What does connecting look and feel like?”

I started attending small, Bible studies with my dad when I was nine years old. I didn’t contribute much then, but I did get involved. Those early days taught me a lot about connecting in small group, Bible studies (or even book studies). Even late last year, I used some of the following skills to connect with a new small group.

I hope you can benefit from some of these.

1. Commit to serve

Connecting is difficult when you’re looking for something for yourself. This way, you have to wait for others to connect with you on your terms. If you’re committed to serving others, you can switch around to connecting on their terms. It’s not easy, but it’s much easier than waiting for others to meet your needs.

2. Show up

Flakiness. What is it? It’s usually just not showing up. Sometimes it’s weird doctrine, but usually, most times, it’s just failing to show up. Showing up is what leaders, members, and God wants.

“100% of the shots you don’t take don’t go in.” -Wayne Gretsky

3. Prepare ahead

Formats are different for every group, but in general you’ll probably read something, whether it’s the Bible or a workbook or whatever. If you don’t know where you’re going, ask. Then do your homework. Show up with enthusiasm – show some initiative.

The more you know ahead of time, the more you can add – and the more connected to the group you’ll feel.

4. Bring snacks

Go above and beyond the call of small group duty. Get creative. What would you like someone else to do for the group?

5. Ask questions

If you’re reading ahead and doing your homework, you should be able to come up with some questions. You might not know the most about the Bible, but that’s okay. It’ll let you ask the questions. Even if you don’t ask them out loud, listen to find answers in the discussion.

6. Remind

I’ve already talked about gathering information ahead of time – but don’t overload. It’s easy to get lost.

I suggest focusing on one topic and finding it in everything. Remind of what you already know. For example, you might start with Jesus and His life-giving sacrifice. Where else in your study do you see examples of that? Do you see similarities between that and anything else you’re learning in the study?

7. Snipe someone

Pick someone off and get to know that person. Really well. Perhaps you could meet for lunch. You’ll feel closer to the whole group just by getting closer to one member of the group. Two are stronger than one and certainly more connected.

Don’t be creepy though. Make sure the other person feels comfortable with you.

8. Spill your guts

Confession hurts. You’ll feel uncomfortable doing it. But so will everyone else. Step up and lead. Tell everyone what you struggle with. Start with the person you sniped. Create closeness by letting your guard down. Watch others follow. Watch the connections deepen.

9. Support your leader

Someone always disagrees. Support your leader. Small group leaders are often inexperienced. They need your patience and respect – and it’s an excellent time to be the example and help others learn patience and respect also.

10. Learn to apply

This is difficult. That’s why so few do it – and why so many need to learn it. Start by throwing out assumptions. For example, stop assuming you know what it means to be faithful. What does it look like? What does it feel like? Answer these questions, not in generalizations for the group, but specifically for yourself. This will help you spill your guts too.

The whole goal in this is to give. That’s how to connect. Small group, Bible studies offer an excellent, training opportunity. Take advantage of them to build your serving skills. When you give, you’ll naturally connect with others. Everyone connects with someone who gives.

“…He who sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and he who sows bountifully will also reap bountifully.” -1 Corinthians 9:6

Serving Suggestions:

(1) Join a small group. Commit to it for eight weeks (or some definite amount of time). If you’re already “kinda, sorta-ish” involved, take this chance to recommit to the group.

(2) Come ready to serve. Try some of these listed here.

(3) What else would you add? What’s helped you connect in small group studies? Share in the comments…