Are you ignoring this high impact tool for capturing friendships?

As much as many of us are on Facebook, I still think it’s underused. Before you run away, thinking this is just another Facebook post, please hear me out. Especially if this is all new to you – I’m sharing for you.

Facebook has helped me develop deep friendships with people I only see every couple months… or in some cases, only once. In particular, I’ve kept up with friends from college and summer vacations even though I’ll most likely never see them again face to face.

And it’s not just for college kids anymore. If you’re not the college age, I’d argue that what I’m about to share can have even more impact for you because, for now at least, you’re still a minority doing this stuff. Here’s what I suggest.

Before you meet someone (read: now)

Get on Facebook. Most of you, blog reading, Internet junkies, are already connected. But for some, facebook is new territory. If that’s you, I encourage you to try it out… for at least a month.

Sign up for an account on the home page. You’ll need to confirm your information through your email account. Once you’ve done that, add some friends and update your profile information (and please put up a real picture of yourself). If you feel completely lost, ask someone for help. Friends who are already on Facebook are usually more than willing to help you out.

In fact, they’re probably excited to help you with it… like I am. Check it.

When you meet someone for the first time

Ask them if they’re on Facebook. This can accomplish three things:

1. Shows your interest. People love to have friends who are interested in them. As I’ve said before, the interesting people are those who are interested.

2. Keeps the connection casual. If this is your first meeting, asking for a phone number is too personal. Even email implies you have a specific purpose for emailing. Facebook is different. Facebook is purely to get to know one another. It breaks the entry barriers to friendship.

What if this new friend isn’t on Facebook? Perfect because it…

3. Provides a talking point and builds your reputation. If they’re not already on Facebook, you have an opportunity to talk about the topic and introduce them to something that’s potentially helpful for them.

Some people give Facebook a genuine shot but still don’t like it. More often, though, they just never give it the chance. They might set up an account, but because they don’t connect to any friends or feel comfortable around the site, they move on. Some people are like that.

Most people, at least from my experience, love Facebook once they’ve given it a fair chance. If you’re the person who introduces your friend to Facebook and your friend loves it, your reputation has already bumped up, just from that single tip and some encouragement to go for it.

[Note: When I say it “builds your reputation,” I mean that in a good way. It builds report with your friend – it’s a form of trust, which is crucial for any friendship.]

When you get home

Add them on Facebook. It’s important to get this right. You want to be the person inviting your new friend. Being first gives you two advantages (advantages for serving the other person):

1. Shows interest. This is the same as above. You want to be the one interested. Aren’t you excited when someone requests that you add them as a friend? That excitement is what you want to give your new friend.

2. Keeps the pressure off. Again, when you’re first meeting someone, you don’t want to go through the awkwardness of trying to give your facebook extension (like this: facebook.com/marshalljonesjr). You want this connection to be as passive as possible for your friend (at least in the beginning).

If you’re friend gets home, finds your friend request, and doesn’t feel like connecting with you further, your friend can just ignore your request. Better to have tried though.

Considering the potential benefits of building a strong friendship, this really doesn’t take much effort (on either part) at all. But it does go a long way in establishing a friendship that otherwise might not have ever developed past casual acquaintance.

Serving Suggestions:

(1) Join Facebook (if you’re not already on). Update your profile info, especially that picture if it’s difficult to recognize you.

(2) Get out and meet new people. And when you do, remember their names, so when you get home (or back to a computer), you can…

(3) Add new acquaintances on facebook.