Others-oriented quiet time: Sharing your personal relationship with Jesus Christ
“Quiet time,” the Christian kind, not the nursery kind, gets a lot of press. We usually consider it a time to connect with Jesus through prayer and study and as a time to pause and reflect on how we’re growing in Him. I think most agree it helps us rejuvenate from our work with others.
The other day, Brett wrote about distractions that steal quiet time. In the comments, Danny said he doesn’t even try for personal quiet time but instead focuses on time fellowshipping with others.
I’m in the middle. I’m all about serving others, so I try to approach quiet time through an others-oriented perspective. Instead of focusing quiet time on me getting closer to God, I try to focus it on what God wants and how He wants me to serve others.
Also, I try to avoid taking quiet time at the expense of others – it’s always for the profit of others.
And – almost as though it was designed this way – an others-oriented quiet time indirectly does boost my personal relationship with Christ. The difference is my attitude going into it. It’s not about getting what I need – it’s about getting what I need to give others.
The Jesus model of quiet time
I try to go with an others-oriented quiet time because it’s the model Jesus seemed to promote with His life.
Quiet time was on His time
Jesus’s made quiet time from personal time.
We read of Jesus “withdrawing from the multitude” many times, but He didn’t interrupt His ministry for it.
“[Jesus] departed from there by boat to a deserted place by Himself. But when the multitudes heard it, they followed Him. . . And when Jesus went out He saw a great multitude; and He was moved with compassion for them, and healed their sick.” -Matthew 14:13-14
I don’t want to take an isolated passage out of context, but I think a general rule applies: serving others is default mode.
There’s always a temptation to put personal time with God above social time with others. How often have we heard, “My relationship with God is more important than my relationship with others”? That statement by itself is sound, but it implies that spending time with others is not part of our relationship with God. And that’s not accurate.
Jesus told us what God would say,
“Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me.” –Matthew 25:40
And while we can’t take this too far (for example, we can’t worship people), I think it’s clear that serving others adds to our relationship with God, not subtracts.
So, for example, what’s up with the three hour lunch break for quiet time? How does breaking a promise to an employer to “draw closer to God” fit with Jesus’s example? I think Jesus would agree with the employer on this one: “do it on your own time. Wake up a little earlier – stay up a little later.”
Quiet time focused on serving others
As I already said, the Bible record quite a few cases where Jesus retreats from directly ministering to the crowd to spend time alone. But let’s look at what Jesus did during His quiet time. Two specific examples come to mind for me:
- Jesus praying all night before choosing His disciples
- Jesus praying in the garden before His crucifixion
Here’s the first example:
“[Jesus] went out to the mountain to pray, and continued all night in prayer to God. And when it was day, He called His disciples to Himself; and from them He chose twelve whom He also named apostles…” -Luke 6:12
That’s some intense quiet time. What do you suppose He prayed about? Pretty others-oriented if you ask me.
In the second example, we have a record of what Jesus prayed because the disciples where close by (though they eventually fell asleep).
- Jesus prays briefly for Himself, but it’s really all about how God will use Jesus to minister to others and glorify the Father through Jesus’s death on the cross.
- Jesus prays for His disciples, that God would empower them to share the gospel with the world.
- Jesus prays for the unity of all believers in Him, that we would realize God’s intense love for us as a group.
[Check out the whole prayer in John 17.]
That’s also intense, and the whole thing is others-oriented. It’s all about how the Father can use Jesus to serve others or how the Father can directly help others.
In each of these cases, Jesus’s “personal quiet time” focused on serving others. Sure, this might not always have been the case since the Bible doesn’t record everything, but I think it’s enough of an example to start following it.
Reworking quiet time
As much as preachers like the phrase, “your personal relationship with Jesus Christ” is NOT what it’s all about.
Jesus loves you personally and all, but you’re not the only one He loves. When we say, “Personal relationship,” we often mean, “Exclusive relationship.” And by exclusive, I mean isolated.
Praying, studying the Bible, and meditating take time. It’s not always practical to do them with others. So I do think quiet time is important and biblical.
But I want to spend more time fellowshipping with others than time isolated in study. And when I am alone with God, I try to focus on how I can share with others what God teaches me. That’s the model Jesus gave.
Jesus prayed in the garden…
“And the glory which You gave Me I have given them, that they may be one just as We are one…” -John 17:22
That sounds like a more productive and enriching quiet time, both for me and for others.
Serving Suggestions:
(1) Spend more time with others. Unlock your quiet time.
(2) Shift the focus of quiet time. When you are alone, consider how God can teach and work through you to benefit others.