Teaching kids (and yourself) to share

Everyone, but especially every Christian, wants to teach their children to share. Sharing is caring, and caring is cool. So how do we do it?

Here’s how it usually goes down:

Parents in the living room, sipping lemonade.

Kids in the bedroom, playing dolls.

Sally runs out of the bedroom crying.

“Mommy, Susie won’t share!” she cries.

Susie walks slowly out of her bedroom, carrying the coveted doll.

“Now, now, Susie,” says Susie’s mom, “share with Sally. You have other dolls to play with, and Sally’s your guest.”

And so it goes again and again until eventually, supposedly, Susie learns to share. But what does she really learn?

Susie learns that she’s supposed to share… but maybe not to actually share.

Better plan:

Parents in the living room, sipping lemonade.

Kids in the bedroom, playing dolls.

Sally runs out of the bedroom crying.

“Mommy, Susie won’t share!”

Susie walks out of her bedroom, carrying the coveted doll.

Susie’s mom to Sally’s mom: “More lemonade?”

Seriously, though, the best way to teach sharing is to share, not force it. Because as soon as we force someone to share, it’s no longer sharing.

Kids will obey their parents, but is that really the motivation you want them to have to share? Sharing, by nature, should be voluntary. So I’m all for telling Susie she doesn’t have to share.

If you let kids share on their own, you’ll find – at least I have – that they actually enjoy it. When they’re secure knowing that they don’t have to share, knowing that the doll is still theirs but they’re giving it up for now because they care about their friend, they love sharing.

And it works the same way for you. You’re much more willing to share when you’re doing it out of the kindness of your heart rather than because you feel obligated. If you’re obligated, is it really sharing anyway?

“So let each one give as he purposes in his heart, not grudgingly or of necessity; for God loves a cheerful giver.” -2 Corinthians 9:7

Serving Suggestions:

(1) What do you think? How should we teach kids to share? Am I missing something (I’m not a parent yet, but I’m genuinely curious) – is the first approach really better? Why?

(2) If you’re on board with me, teach your children to share by setting the example for them but allow them the option not to share.

(3) How to set that example? Share because you care, not because you have to. Serving others is NOT an obligation.