On feeling compassion
Jesus, moved with compassion, brought a widow’s dead son back to life. Moved with compassion, He healed a beggar’s blindness. Moved with compassion, He continued teaching even though He was worn ragged from the constant barrage of requests.
In contrast, before I sat down to write this, I killed about 85 ants. They were crawling all over my sink, so I duck taped them to death.
As long as I can remember, my dwarfish list of virtues has never included compassion.
Of all the words in the English language, “compassion” might be the one that most embodies what’s at the heart of others-orientedness. But still, I don’t like it.
I know I should like it. Besides “submission,” compassion is probably the best word to describe Jesus’s life… and death.
But I don’t like it, and I think it’s because I associate compassion too much with pity. And I think it’s because I associate compassion too much with crowds instead of individual people.
Why I don’t like pity
Straight up, I don’t like pity because anyone who pities someone else simultaneously feels superior to that other person. Last I checked, a superiority complex didn’t fit with others-orientedness.
Anytime I feel superior to other people my ability to serve them dwindles. So even though pity might seem like a virtue that leads us to help others, it doesn’t promote a healthy motivation for doing it.
Just consider what you want. Do you want pity?
We shouldn’t serve others because we pity but because we care.
Why I don’t like crowds
I don’t like crowds because crowds aren’t human – they’re not personal. There’s a saying that says anything with more than one head is a monster, and crowds definitely have more than one head.
Truth is, we can’t relate to crowds. We can’t relate to multiple people at once. As humans, we’re limited to empathizing with only one person at a time.
We shouldn’t serve others as groups but as individuals.
How to feel compassion
Here’s my biggest suggestion… because it’s the one way that’s helped me move from pity to care and from crowds to individuals.
Listen.
Josh Riebock…
I read Josh Riebock‘s book, mY Generation, and I’m going to post a review soon. But let me give it all away right here.
- The key to unlocking Generation Y is listening.
- The key to unlocking the generation before that, Generation X, is listening.
- And the key to unlocking the generation Jesus experienced was listening.
The key to unlocking any generation is compassion. And compassion comes through listening.
Rachel Held Evans…
I read Rachel Held Evans book, Evolving in Monkey Town, but before that, I thought I understood a little about her.
I didn’t. I had no clue.
And I bet if I hung out with her for a day or so, I’d realize I still have no clue.
But I’m starting to get there… because now I realize some of her struggle. Now I feel some of what she’s felt. I don’t just know it – I can feel some of it because I’ve heard part of her story.
Watching isn’t enough. Watching is too distant. Watching is from our perspective. But hearing someone tell their own story… that’s their story, their perspective.
- Compassion for the poor? That’s tough. But sit down and have a one on one conversation with someone on a park bench, and you’ll start to experience compassion.
- Compassion for the sick? That’s tough too. But visit someone in the hospital and stay for an hour (if they’re up for it), and you’ll start to experience compassion.
- Compassion for those who are dying without Christ? Even that’s tough most of the time. But ask some questions, not prying questions. Ask someone to share their doubts. Ask to hear their story. Then just listen, and you’ll start to experience compassion.
I tried it.
But in the hustle of life, I forgot to keep listening. So of course, my compassion backslid to pitying crowds.
And I don’t like it. Because I forget what compassion is.
- Compassion cares for the suffering of others as equals.
- Compassion cares for individual people.
- Compassion cares [period].
Serving Suggestions:
(1) First, do you have a story? Everyone does. But do you have a story you’re willing to share? I’d love to hear from you… in the comments, by email, Twitter, Facebook, however…
(2) Second, listen to someone. Compassion isn’t only for people on the other side of the world or even people on the other side of town. Reach out and listen to those around you. They’re suffering. They’re hurting. They’re people. And they’re just like you.